I used chat GPT to define scientification and it was pretty shit. The idea is that you apply the scientific method to your field of interest: test, learn, adjust, repeat to improve whatever you’re focussing on.
There is a more warped definition. Warped is the right word because it’s taking the scientific method and its veneer of credibility to affect the way people perceive something. So rather than giving you a formal two line definition, let me run you through my foolproof step-by-step guide to using scientification to market your product like Tony Robbins let loose on a medicine cabinet full of Adderall.
Step 1
Find the latest buzz, if it doesn’t exist create it or build on an existing one: mushroom coffee I’m looking at you. If you’re struggling to get your buzz, package a market leader up in another way. Multivitamins are so last millennium so why not put them into an IV drip?
Step 2
Work out your big claims and marketing spin, then find the studies that fit those claims. It doesn’t matter if there’s only one or the study doesn’t quite fit, you can find a study for anything to push that square peg into a round hole. The aim is to get the credibility of science to rub off onto your product.
At this point it’s important to know there are levels to what people will read into:
Level 1: Citing studies is enough to come across as scientific; you’ve won most people over here.
Level 2: Have a title that fits your claim, most people will stay at level 1 so if someone has got this far you could make sure that the study looks legit.
Level 3: The abstract (a short summary of the scientific paper) is in line with your claim. You don’t have to worry too much at this point, you’ve lost most people and your scientification is complete but a quotable sentence is always helpful.
Level 4: The paper’s findings match your claim and relates to your product. This really doesn’t matter you’ve done your job at the previous levels.
Level 5: The authors set out to study exactly what you’re claiming, they state this before they ran the trial and the study design is solid. There is absolutely no need to put all that effort in and do a proper job. Ignore it. If anyone challenges you, rewatch Mad Men taking notes on how to go on the offensive; deflect and call them a shill that’s paid for by big pharma. they’re hiding the truth and you’re here to give it to the people.
Step 3
Sorry I lost myself for minute, onto step 3 where you have your product and some shiny studies to scare away any detractors. It’s important to remember that what you’re leaving out of your product is as important as what’s actually in it, so chuck in a few claims from sugar-free, GMO-free, mRNA-free, guilt-free, moral-free and you’re good to go.
Step 4
But wait, you don’t want to have a lawsuit on your hands for any dodgy claims you might state so make sure you use words like “support” and “maintain” to hint at your new cure-for-all while staying on the right side of the law.
You do want to walk that line though. Say your new product cures all signs of fatigue, but put it in some articles a bit deeper on your site or send them out to loyal customers to avoid the more discerning public. On your product play it safe with “contributes to the reduction of tiredness and fatigue”, it’s an approved claim after all.
Step 5
Okay you’re almost there, but don’t leave all the marketing to yourself, that’s too much like hard work, you need some “reputable” people to help you. Get every doctor — doesn’t matter what in, they could have a PhD in Harry Potter studies the credentials is what you want — health coach, nutritionalist, herbalist and athlete who is willing to sell your product for you.
Quote them on the front page of your website with their arms folded and a stethoscope draped around their neck. The power pose exudes confidence, you don’t want anyone doubting your product.
Step 6
Get it out there. Make sure every podcast, every website click, every step in the street you are shouting in people’s faces TRY THIS NEW PRODUCT THAT SOLVES THE PROBLEM WE HAVE CREATED AND YOU NOW WORRY ABOUT MOST.
Step 7
Voila! Put your feet up, your ethics to one side and watch the money roll in.
In the modern era where everyone needs to be optimized at a 110% for every task (work performance, productivity, focus, mood, energy, sports, love, sex...) no wonder why this works so well.
Not only that but we are constantly bombarded by:
a) Ultra successful influencers/youtubers that showcase how their busy days are (or most often than not their most productive days might look like). Without taking into the account those that lie in how much they do, they are also often the 1% trying to convince anyone can be like them. Just as if Mo Farah was trying to tell you anyone can be as fast as.
b) Companies and influencers providing quick and easy fixes ("that they use").
On top of that, I think there's a cultural shift to quick and easy remedies. From using drugs to tackle even the mildest headache and without any real control, to using supplements for everything.
Plus, the society has increased in pace. This increase in pace is also expected in the solutions that people provide.
Even then, great read.
Made me chuckle ... but so true, my industry has been doing it for years